——— HIGHLIGHT TIMESTAMPS ———
0:04:44 – Protecting Our Energy and Friendships (51 Seconds)
0:09:14 – Imposter Syndrome and Taking Risks (66 Seconds)
0:16:03 – Working Through Shame and Self-Worth (72 Seconds)
0:21:23 – Money’s Connection to Happiness Reevaluated (75 Seconds)
0:29:44 – Analyzing Feedback and Personal Growth (63 Seconds)
0:36:31 – Finding Support in the Industry (36 Seconds)
Protecting Our Energy and Friendships | 0:04:44 – 0:05:34 (51 Seconds)
0:04:44 Bill de la Cruz
Awesome and, as we go through, I’d love to talk to you about this idea of protecting our energy, because I think that’s a really important piece, and I don’t know what your experience has been like, but mine has been that not everybody who comes into my life deserves my energy. Oh that I have to have to figure that out. I call them energy sponges, where they just kind of like suck. I call them energy vampires.
0:05:10 Nicole Holst
Now, you know, you know we have to be careful when we put ourselves around because you know, it’s all about our vibration, right? So who around you lifts your vibration and who around you brings it down. You know, and I mean, there’s times when we’re going through things. We don’t want to kick out a friend because they’re having a hard time, but would the friend do the same thing for you if you were having a hard time? Or every time you’re with them they’re on their phone and the second you bring up something about you.
Imposter Syndrome and Taking Risks | 0:09:14 – 0:10:20 (66 Seconds)
0:09:14 Nicole Holst
And you know, I made one of my best friends out of the first shows that I produced here and she said she came to support because she saw I was new and, you know, was curious who this new producer was. And then I ended up being able to hire her for events and she ended up being able to give me advice on events. So you never know what you’re going to get out of taking that risk anyway, even when you feel the imposter syndrome and I think that’s been if I had any successes doing it anyway, kind of thing and you get that confidence by doing it and you get the skills by doing it right.
0:09:45 Bill de la Cruz
So Right, and and some of what I heard you say is that initially it had the potential to almost parallel to you.
0:09:53 Nicole Holst
Oh, I was yeah.
0:09:55 Bill de la Cruz
Stepping forward because I didn’t know the people or whatever it is that you’re telling yourself and so. So it’s interesting how because we talked a little bit about intuition how people might have something like that where they feel or sense something and then don’t step through it or step into it and and and that, I think, accelerates that imposter syndrome.
Working Through Shame and Self-Worth | 0:16:03 – 0:17:15 (72 Seconds)
0:16:03 Bill de la Cruz
Yeah, so it’s interesting. So I heard you say like accept where you are and yet don’t stay muddled in it, figure out how to move through it, be present. And it’s interesting that you brought up the whole shame inducing piece around money or being poor. And then I recognized in your bio that you worked in the trenches with severely mentally ill, homeless people who may I don’t know, but have may have had their own shame around where they were. And so even when we were talking about before we started recording, about the connection between what we do and who we are and how we attract those kind of things, seems like you’ve been working through that piece in a whole variety of ways, that shame piece, either through yourself or maybe in the way that you supported the homeless folks to say how their shame is not a bad thing and it doesn’t represent who you are, and neither does money, money doesn’t make you more valuable, because we have an inherent value and worth.
Money’s Connection to Happiness Reevaluated | 0:21:23 – 0:22:38 (75 Seconds)
0:21:23 Bill de la Cruz
It’s really yeah, really interesting thoughts that you’re sharing, especially around how we’re socialized to believe these things like money brings happiness, or money does this, or if you lack something, then you should look at yourself in a certain way. My experience was similar to yours. Growing up around Newport Beach, I had friends who had every kind of wealthy thing you could imagine, and their family life was really dysfunctional or they had sickness in it. So it made me realize at a young age that it’s not about the amount of money that you have. And then I’ve met other people who are uber-wealthy and they just give it away and they’re just really generous. The same, too, with people who have very little, because they know what it’s like not to have that they’re willing to give more. I like the three pieces around perfection and unworthiness and lack of confidence, and I think the unworthiness is where I fell, where now I know that I am worthy and I do have confidence.
Analyzing Feedback and Personal Growth | 0:29:44 – 0:30:47 (63 Seconds)
0:29:44 Nicole Holst
So you get to choose what side of the sword you’re going to look at feedback with.
0:29:49 Bill de la Cruz
Yeah, it’s really interesting because I shared with you. I travel all over the country and I walk into a space where I know nobody, and when I get feedback, I have to process it. Like you, and because I want to do everything really well, I’m like, oh, they didn’t have a great experience. And then I have to think about so is this really about me or is this about what they brought into the room? And so I have to even discern it from that perspective. And so it still comes from a humble place where I’m not being arrogant around it. I’m just really curious about it, because then I can go through and really reflect on so what did I do that day and where might this have occurred? And in some cases I’ll even reach out to the person and say tell me more about your comment, because I’m really curious about how you experience me because I want to know that.
Finding Support in the Industry | 0:36:31 – 0:37:07 (36 Seconds)
0:36:31 Nicole Holst
She was offering free tickets and we’ve become really good friends and she actually gave me the names of all the performers, what she was paying people. If I ever have questions when I’m producing or just feel that fear, I reach out to her and she has an answer for me. So you’d be surprised. The people that you think you’re quote unquote competing with are the exact ones that might be able to help you. And you’d be surprised at how many kind people are there willing to share how you can get to where they’re at, because they know they’ve been in your position. You know, and now you know what’s funny, she does the same thing. She reaches out to me when she’s struggling with something and it
